Breaking free: navigating other people's opinions

“Are you sure you want to do that?

Don't wear that! It's too much.

Eat with your mouth closed. You should be a proper little girl.

You shouldn't post that picture.

Really? You want to be a painter? You will end up working in a grocery store for the rest of your life.”

Any of these distantly familiar?

The 'be a certain way to be socially accepted' attitude?

The previous tips I shared were about dealing with being overwhelmed.

One of the most common roadblocks between us and that inner joyous and fulfilled state.

Another roadblock is other people's opinions and societal norms.

How many times do you not do something or do something just because of other people's opinions?

Despite your own opinion.

Despite not wanting to do it. Or despite wanting something else.

Despite being heartbroken because of it.

Despite feeling sad or dissatisfied afterward.

Despite your own inner guidance…

Just because someone said.

Truth is: opinions of others are valid, and societal norms are not per se the problem.

Because – let's be fair, everyone is allowed to have an opinion or an experience. So it's not about their objective validity.

The problem is that we value them so much, they govern our lives subconsciously, disregarding our own inner desires and inertia.

In the worst case – we end up living someone else's life.

Which, in the end, keeps us unsatisfied or unfulfilled, deprived of joy, in so many ways.

But, it's not all bad. There is a way to remove this roadblock too. With two simple starting points.

• Learning to become aware of when and why we sometimes value opinions or norms of others – more than our own.

• When we learn to notice the “when”and understand the “why”, we can consciously start choosing to follow our path or listen to others, instead of 'blindly' following in someone's footsteps.

Cause… let's be fair… it's a shame not to do something for the wrong reason. It deprives your life of your inner joy and personal fulfillment.

And if we still choose to listen to someone else – then at least it's conscious.